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Self-Help in Depression – Report by Silke

By 11. April 2019field report

I have been doing woodstocking exercises regularly for half a year now. At first it was difficult for me to stay with it, because sometimes it took me a lot of effort to concentrate on these sentences. Only at the 2nd round, after I had done all the exercises for a few weeks, I noticed that I could be myself more and more.

At first I couldn’t imagine what the training would bring, I didn’t understand it. That was clear, because I lacked the experience. I was way too tense and did the exercises way too fast and too violently until I took the speed out and noticed that I felt so much more. Maybe I was so hasty to get these bad stories done quickly. I didn’t want to get into it. I just wanted to get it over with. But it was important to me to do something myself, and I knew it would take time.

Now I feel much better and I notice where there is more energy while practicing, because that’s where I have a topic right now. I see this connection very clearly. However, if my resistance is too great, I allow myself a break. But the only way I can get any further is if I take the Woodstock back into my hands and stay in the process.

I’m looking much more positively forward now. My attitudes and behavior have changed for the better and I am proud to have managed that myself.

For years, I suffered from concentration problems resulting from overwork from too many tasks and time stress and from depressions resulting from persistent bad experiences. I had bad feelings that kept catching up with me when something happened that reminded me of the old stories. When I had stress, I felt it mostly in my stomach and that this feeling in my stomach made me angry. There were so many reasons for my stress that sometimes I wasn’t sure if I was stressed or if I had real stomach problems.

When I heard the sentences during the woodstocking training, it was hard for me to stay in reality at the beginning. The stories related to the sentences were thus activated and it was not so easy to endure. The more times I did an exercise, the lighter it felt. I felt the energy change. I didn’t feel so bad anymore and had new ideas and thoughts.

In addition, my need to separate myself grew, both inwardly and outwardly. I didn’t want to accept everything anymore and it became clear to me that I couldn’t always please everyone. Just lovingly saying yes didn’t work, because I myself stayed on the track. Always wanting to be helpful and finally feeling exploited was a constant back and forth and a real vicious circle.

Slowly it became clear that I had the choice to act self-determined. The people with whom I had the most problems were often like me. They always spoke to me about exactly what was difficult for me. I often felt guilty when I said no once.

As I became more and more relaxed and relaxed during the exercises, I was able to perceive myself better and to distinguish whether my problems were physical or psychological. I learned to see myself better and better in difficult situations, even when working outside. I decided not to endure everything any longer, but to express my needs and even to bring up my own conditions. My attitude changed, with time the others behaved differently towards me, the mood became more positive all around.

 

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